Emile Steenveld: Cultivating Emotional Resilience and Authenticity, Mindset Transformation | Ep11

Emile Steenveld is a Human Behaviour expert and transformative guide who has assisted countless individuals in their journey toward self-fulfilment and self-actualization. He leads his clients through deep internal shifts, addressing and mending long-held limiting beliefs and dismantling internal barriers that prevent them from realizing their full potential and success.

Join Emile Steenveld on Instagram for empowering insights and guidance on personal development: https://www.instagram.com/emilesteenveld

Explore his website to learn more about his coaching services, workshops, and resources for high achievers: https://www.emilesteenveld.com

In this episode, Emile Steenveld shares his transformative journey and profound insights into the realms of personal development, emotional intelligence, and empowering high achievers. With a captivating blend of wisdom and passion, Emile dives deep into the nuances of self-discovery, offering a unique perspective on the power of emotional intelligence and mindset in achieving personal and professional success. Through his own experiences and dedication to supporting others, Emile shines a light on the path towards self-awareness, fulfillment, and creating lasting positive change. This inspiring conversation serves as a beacon for those seeking to unlock their potential and embrace a life of purpose and passion.

Core Themes

• Personal Development and Growth
• Emotional Intelligence
• Mindset Transformation
• High Achievers and Empowerment
• Self-Discovery and Awareness
• Fulfillment and Purpose
• Creating Positive Change
• Passion and Purpose in Life

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Transcript

Christian
What is up, beautiful people? This is Christian from the Successful Spiritual Entrepreneur podcast. And today I'm super excited because I have a friend and acquaintance, Emil Steinfeld on the podcast. He's a human behavior expert and transformative guide who has assisted countless individuals in their journey towards self fulfillment and self actualization.

He leads his clients through deep internal shifts, addressing and mending long held Limiting beliefs and dismantling internal barriers that prevent them from realizing their full potential and Success welcome to the show Emil.

Emile Steenveld
Thank you, brother. I'm looking forward to this conversation.

Christian
Yeah, super exciting So first of all, I think let's let's let's define success for people Like what's your definition of success because everybody has a different, you know, definition of success.

So let's define What you see a success?

Emile Steenveld
personally Christian, I define success as being excited to get up and do the thing that you love to do with the people that you love to do it with. And when we can combine those two things, this is where I feel like we become fulfilled, right? Because every day we get to choose, okay, I get to work with this or I get to do this.

But it's like, it's, it's, it's Is this making an impact? Is this fulfilling me? Is this in alignment with my values? Like, these are the things that I look for in success, because so many of us are constantly focusing on the next person. Oh my God, they made this money. Oh my God, they have this house. Oh my God, it looks like this.

And we look outwards, and we think. It's going to feel a certain way, but actually it doesn't. So what I look for is going, okay, how do I feel inside when I'm doing the thing that is in alignment with me?

Christian
Beautiful. And I think that's conversation that's really needed, you know, because again, just like you said, so much, so much of our focus is on the outside.

Right. So how do you bring people? I mean, maybe, you know, before we, I tend to like jump into like deep conversations, maybe let's give people a little bit of brief overview of your background and like your, your amazing wizardry and how you got people through these transformations. So yeah, give us a little bit of background info, like who you are, um, how you became the person you are today and you know, who do you help?

Emile Steenveld
Okay. So a little bit of a background I've, before I was a coach, I've been a coach now for 14 years. Back when people were still like, what's coaching? Um, and I had to explain it. And before I was a coach, I was actually a model. And what's interesting about this, Kirsten, is that most people are like, well, how do you go from becoming a model to, you know, going deep into emotional intelligence and human behavior?

And, um, The truth is, when I first started my modeling career, I was kind of like all over the place. I was kind of doing club promotions. I was figuring out what I wanted to do. I was just out of school. I was 18. For the first three years, I kind of was like trying to find what speaks to me. And I don't know about you in, in Europe, but in Australia, you know, you finished school at 18 and it's like, now you're going to find out what you have to choose for the rest of your life.

And it's like, how do you know that when you don't even know yourself? So. You know, I went through a few different periods of trying different things. I studied public relations, I did marketing, you know, school wasn't my most favorite thing, but I went to school to please my parents, you know, because my parents come from, come from South Africa.

And they were like, you know, you have to get an education. That's how you're going to get a good job. And this is how we've been taught. This is the system. And it didn't fit my narrative. It didn't fit. in with me. So I went out there, tried a bunch of things, got asked to eventually got asked to do some modeling work.

But to be honest, I was actually really afraid of rejection. Um, and I was afraid of rejection because I didn't accept myself. And this is the thing about how this is interesting is because I would avoid rejection at all costs unless I knew I was going to win at it or I was going to succeed in that specific thing.

You know, so I got asked to do modeling several times. For about two to three years until I finally said, you know what? I'm going to try this. And, you know, there's a saying that if you go towards your fear on the other side of that is your freedom. And most of us avoid fear, they avoid discomfort. And why do we do that is because we don't know that what on the, what's going to be on the other side of that.

And that's really scary. So what we'll do is we'll settle for safety, you know, and that's the ego. The ego is settling to keep you safe. And rather keep you safe than avoid embarrassing yourself or avoid looking a certain way. And I always ask my clients this, it's like, would you rather be happy and fulfilled or would you rather look good?

And have success, right? In quotation marks. So, here I go. I eventually jump into the modeling industry. And the modeling industry taught me everything that I teach today. Which is kind of ironic, because people were like, Well, what's modeling got to do with it? And it's got everything to do with it, because you're constantly putting yourself out there.

As an entrepreneur, we have to constantly put ourselves out there. Every day you have to go for castings, people are going to judge you, people are going to reject you. Now, I was afraid of rejection. So what does the universe do? It goes, here Emil, here's an industry that's going to reject you 95 percent of the time and you're going to have to deal with that and get over it and befriend that in order, if you're going to go to the top.

You know, so in my mind, when I finally accepted that I was going to do this, I had to accept the game that I was going to play, right? And it's a kind of the same thing as in being an entrepreneur. It's like, if you're going to be an entrepreneur, you're going to have to accept that you're going to get rejected.

You're going to have to accept that you're going to get knockbacks. You're going to have to accept that you're going to put a whole bunch of work into something and it might not work. And that can be deflating at times, right? But if you have a vision and you're clear about it and you know, like, I'm going here anyway, you don't stop.

Right. So modeling taught me how to connect with people because every time I went to a casting, I had to build rapport and connection with people. I had to enroll people in who I was to make sure that like, I'm going to be the best person for this role. Right. It taught me how to connect with other people in the industry, right.

And build relationships. And it's funny, I've got like all these books behind me. There was a book on this shelf. I can't find it now, but it's called Perfect People Skills, right? And I bought this book, what, when I was 18, like 22 years ago. I'm 40 now, right? And I remember reading this book going, okay, well this is the game of modeling, and everyone looks good in a certain thing, but then you have to go to a casting, and you have to, Not only you got five seconds to sell yourself.

So what's the difference between you and every other model that's going to be in this place? And it's the same question I still ask myself today. Like what's the difference between you and every other coach in the world right now? Because there is so many coaches. Right, but what makes you unique? What, what makes you stand out?

What makes you, um, impact people in a way that no one else can? And it's your unique blueprint, right? It's like, how do you make someone feel after they're, they're in your presence? How do you make sure someone feels seen, heard, and understood after they've been coached by you, right? Have you really understood the core issue, right?

So the reason why I coach people High achievers and high performers to become fulfilled is because I was that person 20 years ago, looking to be successful and have the money and then reached that and was still not fulfilled. So see, it's, it's, it's a whole transition. So then I get to this part of my life and my career.

Like I ended up, I had agencies all over the world. I was in Melbourne, Sydney, I had agencies in LA, New York, Germany, Barcelona, Hong Kong, Singapore, you know, I was traveling all over the world. I looked successful, but eventually I wasn't fulfilled.

Yeah. It's interesting when I talk back in this story because it's like, it feels like so far away, but it was so part of the journey of how I got here today.

Christian
Yeah.

Emile Steenveld
So as, even as I step into human behavior, it's like, The reason why human behavior is so special to me and Christian is, is I'm so curious about why we do what we do and what drives us to do that.

And when you start to watch patterns over time, you're like, even before we get on the call today, you were saying, I just love building things. So it's like, it doesn't even have to be physical. It could be like things. I just like to get an idea and create it. So already you're telling me something about your psyche and the way you, you look at things.

You're like, Ooh. If we can get this into this, like the exciting thing for you is going, oh, how can we make this a reality and build this out? Right. And that lights you up. So what I'm doing is I'm looking for that in people to go, okay, what? What is lighting you up when you speak about something? Because most of us are doing a thing because it's comfortable or we've settled.

Right? So what I do is I come in and go, okay, where, where can we find out where's the gap and where's the core values here again? And let's re identify again. And remember I said re to re identify, I'm also saying, let's create a new identity that's going to match the frequency to reach that goal because that's all it is.

It's an identity. It's a belief. Okay. But if I have stories in the background constantly telling me that I can't do that, or my mom said I shouldn't do that, my father said, you know, you should get into this because it's really secure, then you're never going to allow yourself to put yourself in that position.

Christian
True. Yeah, very true. It's cool. Um, it's cool when, you know, I hear that and reflect it back and think about my story. It's like, yeah. It's just, it feels the same way. It's just, it's so pivotal in me getting here of all the things I've done, you know, and, um, such a cool journey, you know, my, my next question for me would, would be, so how do you Usually impact people or how do people see you impact them?

Like, is there, what do you, what's your experience? And what do you, what's your feel?

Emile Steenveld
I think there's two, two ways you impact people. You, you impact people by you leading and doing the thing that you set out to do through your being. Because people are always watching. You impact people by going to the thing that you're afraid of still.

And, and even though I've done this many, many times, I can still hide or avoid and pretend like I'm doing the work, you know? You know, the, the more knowledge you get, the sneakier the ego becomes in this game. And this is why, I have a coach. This is why I have a psychotherapist. This is why I'm part of a men's group.

Um, to keep, uh, myself accountable to be like, okay, this is what I'm doing next. This is what I'm afraid of and acknowledging those things still. So it's through me stepping in the uncomfortable zones as well that people and my clients watch as well. And they're like, okay, well, Emil's doing it. I have to walk the talk.

I have to be doing the same thing, right? I can't just be saying to my clients, you need to get out of your comfort zone and do this thing and really step up. And then I'm in the background being like, I'm not really taking steps myself. And then the other part is, you know, when I'm with my clients, it's about really holding them accountable because If we're held accountable, and we feel safe, keyword safe, and supported, then anything is possible.

Right? Because most of the time, most people don't want to step forward because it feels lonely, it's scary. Right? They don't feel like they're understood, it's like, you know, and when you're playing at such a high level sometimes, it's like, well, who else can get me? Who else can support me? Right? And most of the time what we're trying to do is we're trying to avoid an emotion.

And the emotion is a subconscious or it's like emotions is energy in motion, but most of the time people don't even understand what the emotion is that they're trying to avoid. They just don't want to feel that feeling.

Christian
Yeah, this is good. Uh, you know, I love how, I love your, I love your energy. Cause like, even without you like calling out people in a way that you have this, like your, your frequencies calling out people in a way, you know what I mean? I think it's really beautiful about you. Um, and it's a very masculine quality, um, that I really enjoy.

Value and admire. So it's really cool. Um, so you've been now in in bali for nine years

Emile Steenveld
And

Christian
you're still alive

Emile Steenveld
Yeah

Christian
And um, no, it's just so fascinating to me because like bali For me, it was also a big opener like I grew up in germany You know, also kind of like did the, did the regular career path, so to say, you know, 18 high school, what do you do now?

Okay. I guess I have to study. I study international business. Give me one second. Yep.

My little one. It's like daddy time to play. Like in 45 minutes, um, so yeah, so Bali for me was also very pivotal because it was the place where I really got to discover my spirituality and my, um, just like meditation, diving into myself side. And. Back at that time, I grew up in Germany and emotions. I feel like my EQ was always very low, um, because emotions is not something that's really like has a top priority in Germany, you know, it's like a very cold environment where people live out of their heads.

It's very thinker, very logic, very scientific, um, which is great obviously for some things, but is, you know, on the human level, There's some sort of mismatch or some sort of lack that I've always felt there, uh, living in Germany, um, that I wasn't aware of that even existed because it's just so normal not to, not to have it.

Um, so yeah, it's beautiful. So for me, I have a very special connection to Bali and, you know, seeing you living there for nine years. I mean, tell me something. How did you get there? How did you stay there? Um, I mean, you can probably talk only about some amazing people that you've met down there because there's such a special group of people that goes down there.

Um, yeah. So tell me a little about your journey with Bali.

Emile Steenveld
I came to Bali maybe 10, 11 years ago first with an ex girlfriend. And to be honest, I had no real desire to visit Bali. Because, you know, my parents, I grew up in Australia, and there's a lot of Australians that go to Bali. So, like, I traveled all over the world before for modeling.

Like, I didn't have a desire to go to Bali because I was like, I don't feel like seeing more Australians.

Like, I don't travel to go and hang out with the same, you know, people I grew up with. So, but I was really surprised with how I felt when I was in Bali. And I remember, like, coming here with my ex girlfriend, and we, I remember going to Ubud, and The architecture and the way they build their houses and, you know, like the indoor outdoor living and the nature.

It was like, it blew my mind and I just remember when I woke up how I felt. And that was a key, key word, how I felt when I woke up. I was like, I feel so much energy here. The weather is amazing because it's warm all year round. Um, and I remember waking up with ease versus like if it was cold in Australia or Melbourne or any place like when I'm waking up.

I would struggle to get out of bed. You know, so that in itself was like, I wake up so easily here and I feel so good, you know, and if you're waking up easily and you feel good, that's already half the battle because your mind is like, Oh my God, I don't want to get out of bed because it's so cold outside or it's like miserable or the, you know, or, you know, and for me personally, I associate summer with holidays because in Australia, the summer holidays is around what November, December, January.

March in Australia, like that's summer for us, right? And that's, so I always associate it with holidays. So like when I'm here, I feel like I'm on holiday all the time. Like literally, I just got back from Uluwatu yesterday, just for a night. I stayed up in Uluwatu, stayed in the Airbnb there, went to the beach the next day, came back, did some work.

Now tomorrow I'm going to Ubud, going to the jungle, you know. So you've got so many different elements here where I could be like, Beautiful beaches in Uluwatu, come back to Canggu. The beaches aren't the best here, but it's like, it's still really nice. Then I can go to the jungle for the weekend and stay in the jungle, right?

And it's not just that, it's the quality of life. So it's like, you can jump on a scooter and go anywhere. Like, You don't need to jump in a car. You don't need to wait, you know, a long time to get places, right? You can just zip around and it's like five minutes. So the quality of life, the lifestyle, um, when you have like minded people around you that are also entrepreneurs, it's also good.

It's also a good thing because you get to speak about different ideas, right? And the difference between Bali and You know, living in Australia or even the States, which I lived in both, is, everyone lives for the weekend, whereas here, I forgot it was a week, like, I didn't realize today was even Saturday. I was like, oh, it's Saturday today.

You know, so it's just, it's just how it is. So, when you're living in this kind of lifestyle, you've got, like, I surf, I'm now getting into paddle. I don't know if you've heard of paddle, but it's like this, um, it's like a, it's a different version of pickleball, but it's, it's so addictive. And these paddle courts are taking over Bali and everyone's playing.

So it's super competitive, you know? So it's like, you, you really live a healthy lifestyle. So food, healthy, how like healthy lifestyle, like training wise, like you've got steadied out gyms. You got the beaches. It's like what more do you want?

Christian
Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, environmental design at its best, you know, that you just surround yourself with, you know, people that inspire you, who you want to be, the nature is there, everything is there.

So yeah, very, very special spot and So how, like, how do you usually like go about, you know, like your, your online presence and building a business and having all that at the same time? Like, when did you get into deciding, okay, I kind of need a website for my coaching. Like when over the years did that evolve?

Emile Steenveld
What's interesting is that I didn't have, like I've been coaching now 14 years. I started studying coaching 20 years ago. Um, I didn't have a website for the first seven years, to be honest. And it was all word of mouth. And when I first started coaching, it was like, I went to my first, um, self development event called landmark.

And I learned a whole lot there. And, and after that, I started studying coaching with the ICA, the international coaching federation, the international coaching Academy that was also certified with the. ICF, the International Coaching Federation, that was a two year program. And from there, I just worked on my craft and then I just started coaching and I started practicing and as a consistency practice more and more and I focused more on the craft than I did marketing to be honest.

So Once I got my first client, that person referred to me, the next person that referred me to the next person, then all of a sudden I found myself coming to Bali and my friend asked me, he's like, um, I know a girl that runs retreats here and she needs a coach. So I met up with her and she's like, asked me what I do and I explained to her.

She's like, can I, can I have a trial with you on one of your retreats? And I said, yep. And actually, she's like, you, you're really good with what you do. And I said, okay. And then she's like, I'm off your position. So for the first ten months of me being in Bali, I was working on, it was actually a mental health retreat.

And I was working on this retreat three weeks out of the month, which was insane. Like that one week that I had off, I was like exhausted because I was coaching every day and I just sharpened my sword, like skill level. And I heard everything about everything. This mental health retreat because it was people from all over the world, but it was like higher end and doing it every day.

You're just, you're sharpening your skills, you're sharpening your sword. So I really got to figure out like, what is it? What is it that I like to work with? Who do I like to work with? You know? And, and from that I was like, you know what, this isn't for me specifically this retreat. So I started running my own and.

Then I got a website. Um, and then I started doing more stuff on Instagram. And I had this love hate relationship with it, to be honest. Like, the whole thing of, like, social media, like, right now I'm building up my YouTube and I'm gonna focus on that because of long term content versus short term. But it is a love hate relationship with it because it's like, I wish someone could just do my content and I just coach because I love coaching.

Right. But you have to put yourself out there to bring more people in.

Christian
Yeah, totally. Yeah, definitely. It's a journey. I'm happy that you said that, that you didn't have a website for a long time because I, for a lot of beginner people, I always just tell them, listen, you don't even need to need a website.

Just like. Get your message out there somehow, right? Um and start like that and you will know when the right time for a website is, you know, so yeah, it's It's not it's not a necessity for sure And, um, especially in times of like social media, you know, you can build an audience and then drive them pretty much anywhere you want to, like, you don't need a website from the start or even within the first year.

Um, so yeah, that's, that's beautiful to hear. And in terms of like content creation, let's talk a little bit about that. Have you found any helpful tools or resources that you use to convey that message? Because I feel like. These days in social media, it's just so important to like, people want the full authentic version of you and it's so easily recognized when it's just scripted or, you know, some sort of random AI content, you know, people just, eh, you know, they don't vibe with that anymore.

So do you have any, yeah. How do you, how do you do it? Um, do you have any tools to help you? Yeah. Let, let, let us know.

Emile Steenveld
You know, it's funny because what I do is I always look at content that speaks to me, for me personally. And then I'm always thinking about, like, who's my, like, because I'm always thinking about, like, who's my avatar?

And it's like, and I'm my avatar because that's how, why I target my avatar, which was the high achiever that was, like, not fulfilled. Or, you know, that what they struggle with. So I'm always thinking of like, what's, what are they struggling with? And how can I convey a message and communicate that to them so that they start to think outside the box for themselves?

Um, now chat CBT, it's interesting because you can come up with a bunch of ideas, but it, it still doesn't hit the mark unless you're, you're prompting the right kind of prompt for it, you know? So for me personally, it's like, I'll write. I'll have an idea, and what I do is I store all my ideas in my notes, and I'm like, Oh, that could be an idea.

Or when I'm listening to my clients, I always write the ideas. So like, every time my client's going through something, I'm like, Oh, that's a really good idea. Or that's a really good concept. You know, so I'm constantly, if you're paying attention, especially to your clients, they're always telling you what they're needing help with.

And support with. That's the best way to get content, right? Now if you don't have a client, or have clients first, I would start watching, looking out for like, who's your avatar? And who is it that you really want to support with, and their pain points, and start to look at and pay attention to people that are speaking about these kinds of things, because it's always out there.

But we've got to be paying attention in those spaces. The way I create content is, I do more now speak to camera and stuff. Um, it hits, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it's crazy. Christian, like, 45 seconds is too long now. Like, sometimes you have to do little cuts in and cuts out. It's like, it's crazy because people's attention spans are shortening and shortening even faster.

So, sometimes you might just be better off just doing, uh, you sitting next to your computer. And, and a heading and saying, I used to struggle with this caption in the rest of the things in the caption and it's like seven seconds and it keeps looping and then people watch it over and over again, but it's like.

It's a game, social media is a game, right? So it's like you have to figure out what's your angle and make sure that it's in alignment with you. Otherwise you're going to hate it every time you have to create it. Yeah.

Christian
Yeah. That's also the experience that I made. Um, I started developing more of my personal brand, I would say last year.

I did a little challenge for myself where I posted a reel every day for three months, which I did with like a chat to PT support, right? I wrote my scripts and I recorded them and yada yada. But after I was just like, come on, you know, this just feels empty. And then there's like, it lost my inspiration and drive to really create more.

Um, but now it feels like time for me is coming back to really just create more for my core. Um, Because really people want to connect and they want your authenticity. Um, they don't necessarily want the scripted stuff. Like there's value in the scripted stuff, which I, you know, honor. And I like the key takeaways and all kinds of stuff.

Um, but for me, I like would say I haven't found that with Chattopadhyay yet. Right. And there's, I guess, like, where's that balance again? It's a game you have to play, like play a little bit, you know, have fun. Because you never know what, what really works and, um, usually the people, the, the videos that I did from my heart, um, about how much I love making things tangible and putting that on the web, like were way better than this is the three steps on how to, you know, you know, keep in mind when you create a logo, it was like, Who gives a shit? Do you know what I mean?

Emile Steenveld
It does have, it has to have a mixture. The thing is, the thing with the brand, people want to feel you too, like, they want to be like, what about you? What about this? Like, I can give tips all day, but if there's no feeling and energy behind, this is why I do what I do, then there's no connection to it.

It's just like, it's just a strategy. And it's the same thing with anybody. Like when you're coaching someone, it's like, you could have the best strategy in the world, but if you haven't built rapport and connection with that person, they're not going to build trust. They're not going to trust you to take them there.

They're just going to be like, I don't know if I feel safe with this person. And I keep going back to safety because you have to make someone feel safe in the space in order to move them. Through an uncomfortable phase.

Christian
Yeah. That's beautiful. And so in your coaching process, I mean, I'm not sure, I'm not sure how in depth, uh, it is, but how, what, what are usual the, the phases that you take somebody through?

Like you say, you know, obviously first one is, you know, report you wanna make, feeling says, but how do you take somebody to, through a transformation?

Emile Steenveld
It's an interesting question. Transformation right? We break it down. It's to transform. So, usually what we're transforming is perception. How I see things. How I, what I made it mean. Because we're meaning making machines, right? And I've got this beautiful saying, it's what you make it mean that creates our way of being.

The question is, what are you making that thing mean? So, I'm always about finding deeper understanding in my clients to go, excuse me, finding out the core. What were your needs at that time? What did you make it mean at that time? What was your stories? What was the agreements that you made, right? So, you might have that your mom, maybe your mom was really busy.

I'm going to give you an example of one of my clients, right? He, I had a single mother and she was working two jobs and he made it mean that she really didn't make time for him and her and his brother, right? And I said, it's interesting that you look at it that way. And I said, did you have everything you needed growing up?

And he's like, yes. And he's like, but I never felt like my mother was around and I didn't feel that nurture and that support. So he had resentment there. Now, the moment you have resentment, um, resentment is bitterness and anger that's being stored below the surface. Right. And usually what people don't know is that they can have resentment towards themselves for certain ways that they've acted because we have certain expectations of how people should show up or how I should show up.

Right. So he had an expectation of how his mother should have shown up. But what did we realize his mother was, she was just trying to do what was best for him. To keep things afloat, to give him what he needed to succeed. So when we went to the core of that, right, like I said, with meaning making machines, like someone that.

Never had that. Imagine like, you got two people, one person that their mother was never there because they were trying to work two jobs to provide the thing and then you got a mother that was always there and always like giving him, and he was like, get away from me. You're smothering me. Right? So two people can have different, different perceptions about the same thing, right?

Be like, I wish I had a mother that was there. But then the other person's like, I wish I had a mother that wasn't there. Giving space, right? And it's how we perceive those certain things and how we receive love in those moments And what we have to understand is I'm looking for the core of like how is this affecting you and you in your day to day?

Right, so he had a story about money He had a story about worthiness because he believed that because his mom wasn't there that she didn't really care

Alright, and she didn't really care but at the same time he's working his ass off Doing exactly the same thing that his mom is doing now, to show up for his family, to be the better father, to do this. So he's continuing the pattern, and you will continuously continue the pattern until you're aware that of the pattern that you're creating and recreating again, right?

So we need to break patterns. So what I'm doing is I'm looking for the patterns that are continually happening and they're from our ancestors. Like my parents are from Cape Town, South Africa. Like my parents had a story about money. Why did I have a story about money, Christian? Because my parents were, um, treated very ill from the white man in South Africa. So my parents are both Cape colored, right? Considered Cape colored, which is a derogatory name that they got given. Back in the day to differentiate. So you had the whites, you got the blacks, and then you got colored. The colored is like the mix between the blacks and the whites.

So my parents were, we couldn't drink from certain taps or go to certain beaches. Or, you know, my dad was getting paid 10 times less than someone that was white. Um, because of his skin color. And because of that, has a story around money, so they gotta make sure that they save, because they gotta make sure that they're not getting paid as much as someone that was getting paid is.

So it was never made for them. And even though they moved to another country, they still had the same story. Up until this day, like, I'm like, guys, you guys need to work on your money story. I had to work on my money story. Because their money story transferred to my money story. All right, so it's, I've come a long way with money, but I'm still reprogramming my, um, subconscious.

around this, because it's ancestral, right? So what I'm doing is I'm looking for patterns, I'm looking for how aware they are of their patterns. And like I said, the first part is we have to build rapport and connection. The second part is like, how aware are they of their subconscious? And then how do we recreate our beliefs and our identities.

Because it's in our underlying beliefs of what we started, like the agreements I said to you before, the agreements we made with ourselves, As children and how that's carried through our life. So if I believe that I'm not worthy because my mother was never there, then what am I going to do? I believe I'm not going to be worthy and I'm going to attract, and this is what he was doing.

He was attracting business partners that were taking advantage of him because he didn't believe that he was worthy and enough. So see how that transfers to everything else. And once we worked on the enough story and that he is enough, he went from making three to 4, 000 a month to 30 to 40, 000 a month.

But if you don't work on the money story, And, and actually go to the core of that, then even though you're making more money, you're still going to continue creating the same problems, right? Just because you're making more money, doesn't mean you're not going to get rid of the problems. You have to go to the core and figure out what is actually happening underneath the surface.

Christian
Beautiful.

Emile Steenveld
Hmm.

Christian
Yeah. What a, what a great invitation for us all to look a little deeper, you know, the awareness you create around, yeah, just creating more awareness. Because that's where everything, that's where the secret lies. Um, one of my favorite teachers around that topic of like turning around the perception is a Byron Katie.

I'm not sure if you know her. Um, but I really like her, her work. It's actually called the work, the work. com. Uh, very, very funny. Uh, she has a free worksheet of where you're able to just like turn around your perception about any given topic and even time, which is a beautiful self, uh, you know, self process you can go through.

And, um, yeah, so that's, you know, I think that's, at the end of the day, it's like, it's always, you It always comes back to the same thing. It's like your awareness and bringing light, shedding light to the spots that haven't gotten the light.

Emile Steenveld
Yeah, exactly.

Christian
Um, so then it's

Emile Steenveld
also, it's also Christian. It's also going, okay, now that I know this, it's not enough to know it.

We have to embody, we have to embody. So it's like, you know, what's the, Yeah, so now what's the integration and the keyword integrate because most people will go and read a book and go cool I read that book. I read this book. I read this book. I'm like cool, but what are you doing with it? How have you mastered it?

Right? We have to master it. The more we master that, we embody it. The more we embody it, the more we become it. It's like and then you create that from your being, not from your doing.

Christian
Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I have a very simple example. Uh, it's actually about, uh, tea, unrelated maybe about, you know, subconscious patterns.

I mean, it is probably a subconscious pattern by now for me, but I drink so much tea, but it's true. Like, because I've like, I've just become. So much tea, you know, I drink it so much. I know so much about it. I taught classes about tea. It's like one of my passions, right? So at some point you just become it.

And when you make that creating awareness process a habit and really, um, more part of your life, then you will create obviously more awareness and come more of that awareness and you can undo and realize. Patterns quicker.

Emile Steenveld
Absolutely.

Christian
Yeah. So thanks for, for doing that work, you know?

Emile Steenveld
No, it's, I mean, I love it.

So it's, for me, it's not even work. It's one of those things that it's like I get off a call and I'm like, I'm more excited after the call than before. Like if I've had a day and I'm tired and even sometimes like I don't do calls that late. But I do have one client that's in New York, so it's, or Washington, so it's really hard.

So I know it's at the end of the day for me, but by, it's an eight o'clock call, but even after I finish it, I'm pumped up, which means that I, I'm in the right place.

Christian
Yeah, you're so.

Emile Steenveld
Yeah. 

Christian
Beautiful. So we're nearing, uh, the end of the podcast. We have about five minutes left or so. So I want to talk a little bit more about your Your desires, your future, like anything you want to call in, dream, vision.

I always like to give people the space to just like, you know, this is what I'm looking to call in. Like, I'm really excited for. This coming up and so yeah, if you want to share a little bit about your, your universe, your dreams, your visions, your desires, um, everything is, is welcome here and know that this is the space for things to multiply.

Emile Steenveld
Yeah, at this moment I'm I'm excited about, I'm, I'm writing, I'm creating new offers and, uh, I've worked with so many different people around the world, but what I do is I love working with high achievers and action takers because they play a bigger game. Um, it doesn't even have to be like a high achiever.

It has to be someone that's like, you know what, I just want something more for myself that's going to impact other people. Like I love to, it has to keep spreading, right? Because why are we here, right? How is my work impacting other people? How is my work, uh, influencing other people in a good way? So for me personally right now, it's like I want to work.

I used to play basketball at a high level and what's interesting for me right now is going, I would love to work with some NBA basketball players that Either NBA basketball players, actors, or even, even singers in the space that are like high pressure situations that they really are good at what they do, but they're also need a bit of support in this space of emotional intelligence, their discipline, their connectedness to themselves, because you got so much pressure from the outside, from everything from like how I have to be to the, to the entourage that they have to, you know, people coming at them every five seconds, it's like.

Sometimes that can be really lonely. And this is why people get into drugs. This is why people get caught up in the wrong path. Um, or the influence gets to their head. So it's like, I want to be that person that could be the support for them in that space so that they stay grounded and stay focused and true to themselves.

So they stay fulfilled in this space.

Christian
Beautiful. And that's already making its way to you. So I'm excited for you to, you know, step into that. I have no doubt you're gonna, you're gonna do that. And it's, it's incredible. It's, it's, I love witnessing people's desires and, and, and just like, they always come true.

Like there was not a single wish in my life that didn't come true. Right? And all the ones that didn't come true were probably not important enough for me.

Emile Steenveld
Yeah. Well, absolutely. It's like, you can have reasons or results, but you can't have both. So it's one of those things where it's like, I always ask myself, why do I want that?

Why do that? You know? And in my head, I'm like, I might get it, Christian, and be like, I don't know. Why do you want that? Why do I want that is because I know what it feels like, you know, I grew up playing basketball at a high level, but, um, I know what it feels like to have that kind of pressure and even being in the, in the modeling industry, you know, I was traveling all over the world, you know, constantly people are talking about you, this and that you're on billboards, you're doing this in that industry.

I know the ins and outs of it. So in my head, I'm like, Ooh, I wish I had that kind of support when I was growing up, you know? So for me personally, it's someone that can understand it. But also go, okay, here's the guy that's like 21, 22 and getting millions of dollars. That's a lot of energy that's coming their way.

How do you be with that? Now all of a sudden there's a lot of attention from women. How do you be with that? Right? And as a young man, versus, you know, getting all that attention, it's like, how do you not let that get to your head? How do you stay focused and, and true to yourself in this space? Because temptation can get us pulling in different directions.

So for myself, I'm like, okay, well, how can I be that person for you to really bounce off and mentor you and support you in those spaces, whether that's in your business or your personal, and it's the same thing and really just keep you on track to stay in alignment with what's true to you and your vision.

And if you can do that, then you're going to impact more people anyway. Right. If you're someone that's like in this game, like I had another artist who's a singer and it was interesting, like the moment we started working together, he lost a bit of belief in himself. And then we went to the core of that and started to figure out that.

And then he starts writing music again and starts creating again. Then he's now he's in flow again and he's singing again, but now he's now. talking about these messages to people. Now he's putting himself out there more again, you know, and then that's impacting, right? Because he has a big following. So it's like, how can we impact people in ways that inspire others?

Christian
Yeah, yeah, and you're doing it so well, you know, I think you're such an incredible Beacon of light that shines not only for yourself, but through others, you know so I just wanted to acknowledge that for you and reflect that back to you because I think there's a lot of people out there that need that support and have wanted and don't even know it exists And oftentimes, um, I think the easiest way to create what we want is just to go for it, you know?

Emile Steenveld
Yeah.

Christian
Just to not complicate it. It's just to, yeah. Once you ask that person to do that for them with them, you know what I mean? Um, so I'm very excited for you. Um, and this last question, um, I would like to ask you is what is there that you want to leave the audience with? Is there anything you want to What do you want to share?

What do you want to leave the audience with?

Emile Steenveld
I would say, if it scares you, go towards it. One step at a time. And if you keep going towards it, you're going to eventually push through it. And when you eventually go through it, you're going to realize that you're still alive. And there's going to be way more range for you to explore.

your desires and that's that's a life worth living.

Christian
Beautiful. Thank you so much. Uh, where can people find you? How can they get in touch? How can they, you know, get more?

Emile Steenveld
Um, they can find me. Yeah, they can find me at my, uh, Instagram, which is at Emile Steenveld. Or you can check out my website, which is www.emilesteenveld.com and be in touch there. Amazing. And soon, soon, uh, soon my YouTube will be out. So, same thing, my name. So.

Christian
Beautiful. Well, we'll keep an eye out for that on Insta, website, and YouTube. So, yeah. Thanks so much for making time for the podcast, sharing your wisdom. Thanks, Christian. And it's been, it's been, it's been a true honor.

So yeah, I love, I love having, you know, people like you on, who just like are so in integrity and shining the light and, you know, so committed, you know, to, to the path. So thank you.

Emile Steenveld
Thank you brother for having me on. It's been a pleasure.

Christian
All right. Bye. Bye for now.